Madeleine Overthinks It

I don't like my post from yesterday. I realized this almost as soon as I posted it and thought about it all the way home on the subway. I would have changed it as soon as I got back to my apartment, or at least amended it, but my Internet was not working.

(By "my Internet" I mean the current open line in the building; I don't have Internet at home. When I do have it--usually for a brief period of time after a new person arrives in the building and before they secure their connection--it is a huge distraction for me. I have been very distracted lately thanks to "B's MacBook Pro," whoever that is.)

I thought about the post some more this morning: I hate it! I want to change it! People are going to read it and be bored! I don't want to bore people! Agnes's posts are SO much more fun and interesting and better than mine! (You're nodding your head, dear reader, I know it! So are you, Agnes!) I should take it down and pretend it never happened! Why did I say those inane things about writing description???

Now I'm starting to hate this post, too.

But this is my point and this is what I learned: sometimes my posts are going to be boring, badly written, stupid, etc., and sometimes they're going to be funny, intelligent, stunning, etc. Yet another lesson about my writing process! Some days will be good, some days will be bad--and perhaps in a month I will look back at yesterday's post and love it or at least see it in the context of the blog.

And also I don't have to love it or hate it; I just have to do it--and try to enjoy it.

So it was a good thing that my Internet was down yesterday, because I would have changed that post and I might still be writing it now. That's what I do. That's why I can't get past page four in that new story--I keep writing and rewriting the same paragraph over and over again when I should just write something and move on.

Anyway, I'm at the office and trying to get out of here and getting confused.

So that's a new rule: no changing a post once it has been posted. Maybe this is the fundamental rule of any blog.

No new writing last night.

(Agnes will say that this post is earnest.)

NOTE: I broke the new rule already: I have edited this post several times since it was first posted. But I won't go back tomorrow and change it. That's the rule, I guess. (Until tomorrow...)