Madeleine Misses a Day--and What Has Happened to Agnes?

Readers all over the world, I am sure, are wondering: Did Madeleine write yesterday? Did she finally write that paragraph on the fourth page and move on? Did she NOT post precisely because she was writing her new story?

Unfortunately, readers, no, I did not write yesterday.

(Now readers all over the world are shaking their heads--as am I.)

I didn't post, because I was at home and my Internet was not working. (I think that B's MacBook Pro has finally secured his line.)

I didn't write, because...

I will get to that in a minute.

First I want to tell you what's happened to Agnes as we haven't heard from her in several days.

I am with Agnes right now--she is sitting next to me on the couch--and she is smoking.

That is all I will say. I think I should let Agnes speak for herself.

As for why I didn't write yesterday...

I was excited to have the day off, and I was excited to work on my story. The blog has spurred me on, I think, and helped me realize that writing and completing these stories is not an impossible task--that, in fact, I make it impossible. I was feeling hopeful and really thought that I could finish that paragraph on the fourth page AT LEAST. I thought I would be able to write SOMETHING and move on knowing that I could go back and edit whatever I wrote after I had written a complete draft of the story.

But before I started writing, I decided to balance my check book. I often do this just before I sit down to write and I don't know why. Clearly it's a delaying tactic, procrastination, etc., but why checkbook balancing every time? Then I paid bills. I got paid yesterday so I had money and I wanted to pay bills, sure, but I could have done it later in the day, or at some time when I was not supposed to be writing. When that was finished, I checked my email on Agnes's iPhone. (Agnes had been in town the night before for a friend's art opening and when she went back to school that morning she left her phone.) Then, since I was already online, I read a few political blogs to save time later, I suppose. Then it was lunch time. What was I going to eat for lunch? While I thought about that I turned on the radio to hear the NPR news summary. After the news, the first guest on the Lenny Lopate Show intrigued me and so I listened--just one guest, I told myself, and then I'll write--and while the guest was talking about whatever book they were hocking, I started to think that actually I didn't have SEVEN months to complete this project (i.e., five stories by the end of May 2010), I had NINE months, including most of September and all of May, and so actually I'm way ahead of myself, five stories in nine months is really easy. I can do that...

That's how the day went--a familiar course of events, frankly, and the result was (as always) that I did not write. I MUST change this. I would like to finish the five stories sooner than May 2010, maybe have more than five--I mean, I would like to exceed my goal for once instead of rushing at the end to complete it.

Anyway...

No writing yesterday or last night.