Madeleine Back on Track

Well, here it is October and two weeks (or more?) since my last post. It was not supposed to be this way... And I thought Agnes was writing on the Mildred! Where have you been, Agnes? What's your excuse?

Okay, let's move on.

I was in a holding pattern for awhile, sliding back into my old, bad patterns of: not focusing on one thing (i.e., the stories); wanting to write plays when I shouldn't ever be writing plays because writing a play is just a way NOT to write what I should be writing (i.e., the stories); getting caught up in having something to show to people (i.e., that I've published a story); fretting about my career or lack thereof which is a complete waste of time for many, many reasons but primarily because I shouldn't be thinking about that until I finish my stories; looking for the satisfaction that I wasn't getting from writing my stories by earning money and working at my office too much and getting involved in the intra-departmental fights there so as to allow them to suck out all my creative energy.

Let me back up for a moment. In my last post--and I haven't reread it, by the way--I recall saying something about the upset I would cause Our Dear Reader by saying that I was thinking about writing plays again. Sure enough, at a lunch date with Our Dear Reader shortly after that post, ODR did comment on that, saying, basically, that I was foolish, foolish, foolish to even consider writing plays again and especially at this juncture and especially given the Mildred project.

But later I was telling Agnes about said desire to write a play and my struggles not to and how the two (i.e., desire and struggles) canceled each other out and made me not write anything, and Agnes said, well, you should write what you want to write. You are making everything worse by fighting it.

Well, readers, they were both right, I think.

So I have been writing a play--secretly, quietly, freely (i.e., with no plot outline or schedule or career-building motivation)--and this has allowed me to get back to writing Story #4. I am doing both and thus not fretting about not doing either. It keeps me writing and gets me out of the dreaded holding pattern. (I keep getting an error message as I am writing this post. I don't know why. Maybe a metaphor? Maybe a message from someone, somewhere? Anyway...) So, yes, I am writing again and enjoying it.

The holding pattern also coincided with a month or so of too much time at the office, as I have described, and some minor family emergencies. (Everyone is fine.)

Also, I have always found fall to be a good time for writing.

My point is, all of these things should be considered when thinking about why I am writing again. (Error message again! What am I doing wrong?)

My goals re: stories for the rest of the year: finish Story #4, hopefully before a short, very-excited-about trip at the end of October with ODR, then edit the quick, long draft of Story #2 before the end of the year and be well into Story #3 as 2011 begins. That should set me up to write and finish Story #5--and meet my Mildred goal (only) one year late--in the late winter/early spring of 2011.