This Is What Madeleine Sounds Like When She Is in Her Office

It is 7 p.m. and I am still at the office, but it is a Thursday so that is all right. I have decided that it is okay for me to work as many hours as they need me on the days that I work at the office--i.e., Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday--because those days I don't get much writing done anyway. But then I refuse to work in the office anymore on Friday or Monday (or the weekends), though I occasionally will do some work from home. Boundaries! Plus having office days and writing days means less guilt, i.e., guilt that I am not working more hours and making more money to pay my lawsuit debts and guilt that I am working in the office too much and not writing, which is really what matters most to me.

It strikes me that this entry is sounding like one of those dumb Poets and Writers essays that I hate so much (and eat right up!). Something about how to make it as a writer, how to divide your time and not feel guilty, etc., which always translates into "this is how I do it, so this is how you should do it, too." As I said, I love to rail against those essays and note how they're always written by writers I've never heard of (snark!).

This whole entry is sounding like my office: dry, hemmed in, dull. I never write on the Mildred in the office for fear of someone catching me writing on it (i've talked about this in the past). I am also paranoid that someone somewhere in this office is monitoring my Internet usage. But it is late and most of my coworkers have left for the evening so no fear, though still there are holds barred. (Did that make sense? Is holds barred the opposite of "no holds barred?" Again, this entry sounds so stiff.)

I meant to say, too, when I wrote that "I never write on the Mildred in the office," Readers, that yes, I know what you are thinking: she never writes on the Mildred PERIOD. That is fair and I am trying.

As for my writing, I am still working on plays and Story #4. The plays are crazy, no structure, freeing. I am writing them the way that I want to write fiction (and occasionally do write fiction): I sit down at my desk and start typing dialogue. It's so enjoyable! And when I wake up in the morning I find that I am thinking about my writing again which makes me feel good; during that month or so in August/September when I was working in the office all the time, all I thought about was the office. Now I don't.

Also, going back to my statement that I refuse to work in the office on Mondays and Fridays, I am working in here tomorrow (Friday) morning from 9 a.m. - noon. But after I am going straight to my studio.