Inside Madeleine's Head, a Play

Last night in bed, or it might have been this morning, I started rethinking what would be acceptable for me to turn in to my class on Friday as Story #1.

I present to you: Inside Madeleine's Head, a play in agonized silence

MADELEINE on bed, awake. AGNES is next to her, blissfully asleep, completely unaware of the turmoil going on inside her beloved's head, which is only ten inches from her own.

MADELEINE does not speak, but from her anxious expression and clenched jaw, it is clear that she is thinking about something unpleasant--for example: bad choices she has made, promises she has failed to keep, expectations she never manages to meet, etc. She is under a lot of pressure! Perhaps her back is aching again; she went to the chiropractor twice this week for neck pain. (Note to actress portraying MADELEINE: This pain is unusual; prior to this week, MADELEINE had not been to a chiropractor in four years.)

MADELEINE (thinking)
I really want to finish Story #1, but time is running out and perhaps it would be okay for me to hand in only the first two sections of it, as long as I make those first two sections as good as they can possibly be. That would be pretty amazing, actually! The first two sections are really difficult to write, so if I finish them and am happy with them, etc., then turning them in on Friday and finishing the complete draft shortly thereafter would certainly be ok, even admirable. And, really, the first two sections don't need to be the best that they can be--they just need to be finished. As long as I finish the first two sections by Friday evening and turn them into the class then I will have no reason to feel ashamed of myself and my efforts, especially since if I finish the first two sections by Friday, then I will certainly be able to finish the rest of the story in no time, probably in only a few days--at the most a few days--because I know that once I am finished with the first two sections, I am going to feel like, wow, the story is basically done, all I have left is the silly third section, and the silly third section won't be so difficult to write compared to the first two sections, which were extremely difficult to write.

When Agnes is awake, I have to tell her again about how very difficult the first two sections of my story are to write. Because if Agnes knows how difficult they are to write she will judge me less harshly on Friday when I don't finish Story #1.

MADELEINE looks at AGNES. AGNES sleeps.

Dear Agnes understands me and she will still love me if I hand in only the first two sections of Story #1 on Friday, so...

MADELEINE realizes she has pulled all of the covers to her side of the bed. She replaces them over AGNES, carefully so as not to wake her. Note to actress portraying AGNES: You remain completely still during the play, but at this moment, it is clear that you feel very lucky to have MADELEINE in your life, despite all of her craziness and the frenzy which you sense is fast approaching.

Suddenly, MADELEINE sits up. She looks frightened. She has just remembered something awful.

But those blog readers! They are counting on you! They are invested in your success! They are waiting and reading to see if you will finish Story #1 by Friday--and in fact they expect you NOT to finish it! They will judge you harshly! They will stop reading if you don't finish Story #1 on Friday. Why would they keep reading after you had betrayed them? Unless they are readers who like to watch a car crash. Who doesn't like to watch a car crash? Perhaps you will have MORE readers if you fail to finish a complete draft of Story #1 by Friday. No one will read this blog if I meet my goal. What's so interesting about someone who meets all her goals? What's so interesting about a successful, happy person? Where's the drama in that?

Perhaps, Madeleine, you are invested in failure? Perhaps, Madeleine, you are more comfortable when you do NOT meet your goals?

MADELEINE lies down on the bed.

Is it "lies" down on the bed or is it "lays" down on the bed? How can I NOT know such a simple thing? I'll choose "lies" but no doubt I have chosen wrong. I always make bad choices. I never get anything right. I must avoid this verb, this saying, in the future. I must...

MADELEINE's thoughts become too confusing, even to her, as all the things she must avoid start pressing down on her from above and the unseen deadline presses up on her from below. She is frightened. Very frightened.

END OF PLAY