Dark Clouds Over Madeleine

I don't usually work on Mondays, but I'm working today, and it's been very busy.

People keep walking up behind me and asking for help. I don't want them to see that I am writing a blog--more importantly, I don't want them to see the name of my blog for fear that they will go back to their desks and read it. I already imagine that the IT guy at the office is monitoring my Internet activity and knows somehow that I am writing this blog and is reading the Mildred. If you are reading the Mildred, IT guy, stop!

(Interesting that I fantasize about people reading this blog and imagine that others would be interested in this blog. On second thought, maybe not so interesting.)

Anyway, I need to work on my story tonight, but I am exhausted. I didn't sleep well last night--noise from the apartment below--and the work that I do (proofreading/editing/copywriting) can be draining.

So I feel like I won't be able to write tonight and this makes me feel really, really guilty, lazy, unproductive, etc., etc., etc. And now I feel even worse for complaining about this on my blog of all things. A blog!?! Why am I writing a blog?!?

That's it for today.

But I can report that I wrote yesterday and was feeling very good and positive about the writing and the story last night. Why the sudden change in attitude? The job? The approaching first class (Wednesday)? Bad lunch (pizza)?

I want to be the best writer in the class and I want the instructor to love my work. That also depresses me.